Day 34- Updates & comparisons

I haven't forgotten about the blog :)

For the most part I'm back on a "normal" diet and a regular schedule. I'm eating lots of scrambled eggs and I'm migrating to more solid food. I've been eating ground beef, some soft chicken, noodles and pancakes. It makes me so happy to actual eat with spoons and forks, even if the utensils can't actual fit in my mouth. It's still a very messy process, lots of food on my chin and face and sometimes I prefer to eat with my fingers since I can actual tell when the food is close enough to my mouth. Eating meat again is definitely a good change, it gives me more energy and makes me feel more full.

I saw the surgeon this week too and he told me I didn't have to wear my elastics during the day anymore just at night- which has been a big change for me. I feel less pressure to eat when the elastics are off so I'm eating more and more often. I'm trying to get used to talking now with my teeth not "wired" together.

Comparing my week three to week two was a big difference. I had a lot more energy and didn't feel so tired- knowing this I wouldn't of gone back to work two weeks after the surgery even though they were only half days. But I guess you live and learn.

Difference between week three and four was a good change too! I moved from doing half days at work to full days. I've been going home to eat at lunch and I start running out of gas around 3pm but I'm glad to be back at work and feeling normal.

Even this week the difference between how wide I could open my mouth at the beginning and now feels huge to me.
I can tell I'm so much happier this week and feel more like myself.
My next check up with the surgeon is one week away and an orthodontist appointment is three weeks away. I think the hard part is almost over, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel

4 weeks

3 weeks 

Sept 25th

Sept 20th

SO MUCH MORE ROOM FOR FOOD!!!!

Day 19 &20- Experimenting with food

Spending time back in my hometown was nice, got to spend some time with family and friends. I think they were surprised how well I'm recovering. Lots of questions about my diet and struggles I'm having. Questions too about the procedure that I under went and I can't really explain it other than they cut the bone and moved it forward. So I've started just giving them the actual procedure name for them to google it: bilateral sagittal split osteotomy.

My mom helped me eat some alphagetti when I went to her house. It took about 40 minutes to eat maybe a cup worth and was super messy. I had to eat each little pasta letter individually even with my elastics off. My mom also made me some sweet potatoes. Microwaved the potato for a couple of minutes and then mashed it up with some nutmeg and my ensure supplement drink. For breakfast she mushed up some banana and peanut butter with milk and yogurt. So I've graduated from totally blended liquid diet to squished/mashed food. I'm grateful I've got that gap in my teeth, it helps a lot to get the food in.

Going grocery shopping with my mom was really useful, I told her how I'm usually too tired to prepare a whole meal for myself and eat it afterwards. So we looked at a lot of food that is super easy to prepare. Got myself some instant mashed potatoes, beets, flavoured tofu (dessert ones are delicious) and some childern's liquid advil to help with my head pain.

I've noticed when I'm experiencing head pain especially around/in my ears I'm sensitive to loud sounds and changes in elevation - I don't know if others have experienced this.

The second elastic I'm supposed to wear that goes all the way to back of my teeth has become nearly impossible to change and put new ones on each day. I don't know how the surgeon thought I could get back there everyday and do it. The inside of my mouth is swollen and weird from all that is going on in there. The hooks are so close to my gums the struggle to get the elastics on isn't worth it. So this weekend I've only been wearing one on each side. Maybe I'll call the ortho and tell them about the struggles, if it is that important to wear two elastics on each side.

Widest I can hold my mouth open with elastics off

Day 18- Road trip

Took today off from work too, I still had pain in my right ear and headaches. I was glad I did too, I slept in until about 1030. Today was just about getting myself ready for a weekend with my parents and my boyfriend's parents. It;s about and 2.5 hour drive from where I live.

I packed a giant bag of food for myself to bring down, I'm not sure how much food there I'll actually be able to eat. I'm bring tons of applesauce, my baby cereal, yogurt, bananas, protein powder, my ensure supplemental drinks, a smoothie and a couple of cans of soup.

I'm kinda excited to see my mom, I think she will be lots of help in finding food for me eat and giving me some motivation. More to come!

Day 17- Check up

The pain that was right at my temples yesterday has relocated. It has moved to only my right side and it comes in waves of pain that feel like the world's worst ear ache. I wasn't going to let this stop me from going to work but I wish it had. Once I got to work it full hit me how bad it hurt. I was hot and sweaty and my face was really pale. So I decided that work wasn't going to happen and went home.

I iced my face and had a gigantic nap. Ate some food and then left for my ortho check up appointment. My orthodontist is the best, he was so helpful and answered a bunch of burning questions I had that weren't answered by the surgeon.

That nasty bloody nose I had a while ago, I got some answers about that and why every time I cry or get upset it bleeds. He said that during the surgery I was intubated through my nose and likely there is a blood clot and it is being dislodged when I cry and it should only last about a month or so. After that I can have emotions again :)

He also said I'll need to massage those muscles that are sore. They're orientated in a different direction than they were before and plus they haven't been used in over two weeks. He said I could also experience very painful muscle spasms in my jaw and I may have to force my mouth open to stretch them.

They asked me how much weight I've lost too, but I don't have a scale and honestly I've never been one to go up or down more than a couple of pounds and all my clothes still fit me. So who knows?

I'm supposed to start eating soft foods again, but I'm having a hard time opening my mouth still and I'm terrified of choking or vomiting later. I'm visiting my parents this weekend so my mom said we would work on getting me to open my mouth.

Also changing my elastics everyday is going to be a challenge. It's super hard to get the second elastic on since it goes all the way to the back of my teeth. I can see my stitches in my mouth too and it really freaks me out. So lots of stuff today. I'm trying to stay positive but lately it feels like there is a gigantic list of things I can't do.

Day 16- Elastic removal

Quiet day at work, lots of sitting down and taking breaks. When I get home from work it is time for a nap and to get more food in my belly.

Finally got my elastics taken off today and it feels super weird. They let me brush my teeth and take a look inside before they put different ones on. I couldn't get the toothbrush on the inside of my teeth and could just stick the tip of my tongue out. I feel very fragile and I'm too scared to explore the inside of my mouth with my tongue. Looking at my smile from the front it looks like my bite didn't move. I know it did though because I can feel my back teeth line up on top of each other now. Maybe I'm over critical of what I think it should look like.

The doctor came and checked on me and put my new elastics on. He told me to open up wide and I tried moving my mouth- I'm pretty sure nothing happened because he then said "no, open wide" He tried to help by having me open a little and then bite down to get those muscles working again. It's a strange feeling not being able to move your mouth. I've forgotten how and have to learn all over again.

By the time I got home from the appointment my head was killing me. Sharp pain right at my temples on both sides. This pain shoots down to my jaw and back up and then meets in the middle of my forehead. This is actually one of the most painful days since the surgery. I would rate it at a 7/10 for pain. I iced my head and took some hydromorphone for the pain. I guess my jaw has been pretty much clenched shut for 16 days so that's why all the pain. The other weird thing too with these elastics is they give me some movement so when I swallow I can feel my jaw move.

 I've got two elastics on each side and I'm supposed to change them once a day. I'm also allowed to start introducing soft food back into my diet-nothing chewy or crunchy. I think I'll have to take my elastics off to eat though because with them on I can't move my jaw. I'm much too tired and sore today to experiment with eating so it's still a liquid diet for tonight and possibly tomorrow.

I look like some sort of creature out a swamp- please excuse my face.

Day 15- Back at work

Feels good to be back at work even though it is only for half a day and I'm surprised by how tired it made me. I woke up at 6 and had a peanut butter banana smoothie for breakfast. And I brought some drinkable yogurt, applesauce and a protein milkshake for snacking.

By noon I was beat and glad it wasn't a whole day of work- time for an afternoon nap and some more "food"!! Tomorrow is for sure the day I get my elastics taken off at the surgeon's office- can't wait to free my tongue from it's jail cell.

I was reading another blog of someone who had jaw surgery and they mentioned afterwards that they could bite into food all the way. They said too that before the surgery they would bite into sandwiches and all the insides would come out and biting into pizza would cause the toppings to be pulled off. This happened to me all the time before the surgery and I thought I was just a messy eater and didn't relate it to my jaw. I can't wait to see if that will change for me when I'm all healed and better.

Day 12- 14 -Long weekend & two weeks post surgery

Lots of errands and running around this weekend which made me pretty tired. Honestly not much has changed since my last post. I'm hungry all the time with no end in sight but I'm looking forward to going to work on Tuesday. It'll be nice to get out of the house and it will help make the days not feel so long.

I can tell the lack of food is affecting (effecting ?) me- I get a mild headache and by then I'm too damn tired to do anything about it. Maybe some prepared blended foods would be useful but I'm still struggling to get past the idea of taking food like spaghetti and tacos or whatever and blending it.

And the nosebleeds still happen when I cry or get upset. Hopefully it isn't a new trend from the surgery because it is getting OLD.

Two weeks post surgery

Day 10 &11- Goodbye Pawnee

Days are blending into each other now and honestly there has been no news with my jaw. Feels the same-no feeling in my chin and bottom lip and, I'm struggling to find food I want to eat that gives me enough calories. I really like blended watermelon but it is mostly water- not really nutrient enough for meals and snacks. So I've been adding milk and protein powder to it, but it still doesn't fill me up.

I've seriously got to set my food game up. Oh and baby food- strawberry dessert- IS NASTY. Just eat straight up jelly or jam it will taste better. I'm taste testing lots of baby food, you're welcome future kids.

I finished Parks and Rec too, I've been home for a little over a week and I've finished the entire six seasons. I've read that there's a comeback season 7 though and I'm contemplating watching that next. 

And I think I'm going to go back to work after the long weekend, just starting with half days. I feel alright sitting on the couch taking it easy but I'm bored and miss work. I want to ease myself back into it since I'm not sure how tired I'm going to be and eating is still a feat. I'm not quite sure I want my coworkers seeing me eating baby food with syringes and just straight up being a mess. So I figure I'll work mornings and have snack break with my protein smoothies and some apple sauce. Those go-squeeze apple sauces are super convenient. 

I'm coming to terms with my new face too, its looks square to me now.  Curtis says I'm still a little swollen in the cheeks but other than that I look fine.

September 2, 2016- 

Day 8 &9- struggle bus

Being on my own during the day has been very lonely. And I've been a human puddle for both of these days. Even though I can breathe perfectly normal and didn't have the upper jaw surgery I had a terrible bloody nose on Tuesday. It all started because I got frustrated with my eating situation. you know just one of those I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE MOMENTS.

Well and they tell you after the surgery to not blow your nose for one month- well avoid crying too. Crying with your mouth forced shut is difficult and actually forces you blow your nose without even trying. Well all my crying started a bloody nose and as I kid I was prone to bloody noses and they would happen all the time. But having a bloody nose with your mouth wired shut isn't fun either. It bled for probably 30-45 minutes and since I'm home alone I decided to call my mom who lives 2 hours away and then have her call my boyfriend to come home and make sure I am okay. So now I can't eat like a normal person and I can't even express my emotions like a normal person for fear of a bloody nose. I HATE MY FACE RIGHT NOW.

I guess if you're reading this, prepare for bad days because they'll happen. And find some recipes of blended food you like. I'm feeling sick of fruit and veggie smoothies but am having hard time dealing with the mental part of eating a normally solid food in liquid form. Beans and hotdogs blended....smells the same and tastes the same but feels wrong on so many levels.

Pre and Post Xrays

before 

after

before

after

Day 7-Major disappointment

Normal morning routine today, meds at 2am and again at 8am but it was my last dose so I'm all done now. No more middle of the night wake up and cram some liquid food down my throat.  

Lots of running around today for my appointments and my sister came to visit. Went to the university to get my x-rays done- I'll post my before and after in another post. We walked around and I showed my sister and my mom around. I caught some pokemon too. We also stopped at my work to check in with my coworkers. Show I'm still alive and kicking. I think they were surprised how well I am recovering.  

But the major disappointment was that I didn't get any elastics taken off.  Before the surgery, my surgeon said that we were going to take off elastics after one week and he was away when I went in today. So another doctor looked after me, but he didn't feel comfortable taking off the elastics. So I'm pretty heartbroken and disappointed. I have to wait nine more days until they start taking them off. My mom is going back home today too, so I'll be on my own during the day starting tomorrow.