Surgery day- before the knife

Up until the day of the surgery I really didn't feel like it was happened. It felt more like a dream than anything which is probably because I have been talking about it billions of times. Monday morning came, said my usual goodbye to my boyfriend, Curtis before he left for work with extra kisses.  My mom and dad drove up to stay with me while I'm out for surgery.  I laid in bed for about an hour feeling nervous and trying to distract myself from the thought of surgery.  My mom did some Reiki on me (zapped me - is what I call it) and then we left for the hospital.   

I was really nervous as we walked up to the admissions desk. Tears welled up in my eyes but I was trying my darn hardest to keep my big girl pants on. "THE SCARY PART ISN'T EVEN HAPPENING YET" I told myself. I guess it was just starting to feel real. They checked me in a nurse showed us the room we would be waiting in. On the bed was my gown, slippers and house coat. She tells me what to do and at this point I'm holding back tears. As soon as she leaves I start crying. My mom and dad are hugging me telling me it's alright.  I'm just so terrified. After that I put on my new stylish outfit. I feel very weird I've never been admitted to a hospital and I feel self conscious of my butt showing so I put on the house coat too- gotta make sure nobody see the tush. 

Now at this point I had only been told to check in at 10 am and no time line of when I actually go to the OR. -which is probably my bad as I never asked until we got to the hospital.  Apparently I don't go under until 1 pm so I have nothing other than my phone to keep me entertained and my parents. I'm also starving as I haven't eaten since last night at 11 pm. We were in that room for about 1 hour and the whole time my mom was zapping me and keeping me calm. They took my vitals here and I get all the questions they're required to ask. Nothing hooked up to me yet just me in a gown and very nervous.  Finally I'm told they're ready for me and it's time to move.  We follow a nurse to a holding/waiting room in front of the OR. This place has no beds and are divided into 8 sections with 2 chairs each and it has TV- which isn't saying much since it's daytime programming and no remote can be found.  

My parents and I were in this room for 2+ hours and it was literal torture. 

As soon as I walk in I feel my eyes water up as I look around and see all the chairs again it's becoming real to me.  The nurse takes my hand and says not to worry I'm in good hands and gives me a warm blanket. I know I'm in good hands, I'm just really terrified of the unknown and what's on the other side of the door.  An anaesthesiologist resident talks to me and she was very nice.  I started freaking out again and she took my hand and said it will be alright. I can't remember her name so for the sake of life let's call her Roxanne. She was also one of the first doctors I've ever met that had beautiful eligible writing - basically a unicorn in the medical field.  I also see my surgeon while I'm there, tells me a little bit more about what was gonna happen and I told him only the jaw no chin implant. They've offered me a chin implant too with the surgery- its a 980$ cost and honestly I'm not sure how much a difference it would make.  He says we will be ready to get you in about 20 minutes  It's 12:15. And then silence for 2 hours.  NO DOCTORS NO NOTHING. Understandably I'm upset. Did they forget about me? What's happening?  

Turns out the patient in front of me was having a hard time waking up and was why I was so delayed.  

When they finally come for me the water works start flowing again. I'm terrified. I said bye to mom and dad with big hugs and kisses and on through to the other door. 

I'm crying at this point walking to my OR and big mistake is looking around once you get in there- which I read on another blog but couldn't help myself. Tons of equipment and medical staff everywhere. Just try your best to stay calm and jump on the bed- that is all I can say. 

Everyone is being super friendly and greeting me but I can't even look at them without bawling.

They tell me to take off my house coat and untie the back of my gown so my tush is exposed and then I climb onto the "table" I'm crying still trying to take deep breaths but I'm so scared.   

Remember Roxanne from before, well  she took my hand again and tried to relax me.. Meanwhile everybody wants a piece of me. Attaching heart monitors, oxygen, stickers on my side, and putting on these booties on my ankles that blow up like a blood pressure thing to keep circulation going. As all of that is going in they are trying to put IV in. Which is proving difficult since I'm 100lb girl freaking out in a cold OR. When they finally get it in I don't remember a thing other than a single tear rolling down my cheek